Well here we are at the end of a year and the end of our trip. 2015 has been the strangest year we have had. I wanted to do a short, concise, witty and thought provoking final post about what I’ve learnt this year, or even summarising my feelings as this season comes to an end…but I am sitting here feeling at a loss as to how to even begin, so I doubt it will be any of those things.
I guess its fair to say that this has been a year of surprise and joy, but also heartache and pain. For example, I have spent more than a quarter of the year overseas, which is amazing! And I didn’t add it up but it sure feels like I’ve spent more than quarter of the year sick in bed/on the couch…less amazing. We got to step out and go on a wild adventure, meeting new people and seeing new places… but that also meant stepping away from people and places that we loved. Please don’t hear me complaining or being unsatisfied – I just really want to be clear and provide a realistic picture of my life. It’s so easy to just ‘filter’ life so that it looks like everything is wonderful and rosy all the time. As most of you know I spent much of 2014 being unwell and I somedays found it a struggle to be on Facebook/instagram as it seemed so unfair that ‘everyone else’ was out having fun and I was miserable in bed. But of course I know that isn’t true. The grass is so often greener and I know that people’s lives are more than a happy snap at the beach, but it is easy to lose perspective and I hate the thought that me sharing my high points makes someone feel worse in their low points. But I also want to look on the bright side and find a positive, so I don’t wallow in my low points. Sometimes I have thought I should just not post anything at all. Other times I think that I shouldn’t be so worried about what others think. Then I wonder that if I’m not posting for other people, why am I posting at all? I have the photos on my phone…the only reason to put them on instagram is so others can see them too. (I have a secret account that I post to for printing purposes). But obviously I have posted online, partly just for the practicality of telling people where in the world I am, but also because I have decided that I want to share my joy. I have tried hard to not shove my joy in your face, and I apologise if it has felt like that.
So what have I learnt? I suspect not enough. But here is some of it.
- ‘Because that’s what we do’ is not a good reason to do or think anything. I don’t think that this was a new concept for me, but after meeting so many new people from such varied lives and discussing Christmas, Thanksgiving, politics, healthcare and coffee it has been highlighted in my mind that so many other people think differently because their culture does. And it has forced me to think about my own views and try to work out what I think just because thats what I am used to, and strive to have better reasons for my opinions and actions.
- Not everyone in Boston has a Boston accent. Not everyone in the South wears cowboy boots or says ‘howdy y’all’. Not all Canadians say ‘eh’ at the end of their sentences. In fact we heard only 1 Boston accent, 0 ‘howdy y’alls’, only a few boot wearers and have only met heard Canadian who says ‘eh’ (shout out to Lindsay who makes most of our coffees). And worst of all, we learnt the hard way that it doesn’t snow every year at Christmas in Toronto.
- Be kind and be generous. You never know how much it means to the other person. Having been the recipient of much kindness and generosity I want to be the type of person that gives of my time and resources to others. I’ve said it before, but we were not only housed and fed by strangers, but also listened to, talked to, welcomed. This trip would have been VERY different without these experiences. People often ask if we are homesick. Of course there are people that we miss and seeing ‘summer fun’ photos can induce jealousy, but I wouldn’t say that I have felt homesick. I haven’t felt isolated or lonely. I’ve been living out of a suitcase and in other people’s spaces for months but I’ve felt at home for most of it. It definitely helps having Dan of course, but a MASSIVE part of it is that in each place we have gone, someone (or someones) have treated us like we have known them forever and like we belong. I hope I never forget how blessed we have been in that regard. And I hope I can welcome others in the same way.
- Espresso coffee is an art form. It is easy to get a bad coffee and I shouldn’t take good coffee for granted. Also wherever we end up spending 2016, we need an espresso machine at home. Or a cafe that delivers free coffee to our home within an hour of me waking up. Yes, I said ‘need’.
- So much of happiness is tied to expectation. If I expect something to cost $8 but it costs $12 then I am annoyed (this example was taken from the night I was craving pho but grumpily ordered something else instead). If I expect a good coffee and I get a good coffee, I am neutral. If I expect it to snow and it doesn’t, I feel ripped off. But when I think we won’t get snow then suddenly things change and we get snow, I am delighted. Feeling entitled to something can rob me of my joy, even when I get what I want! I’m an idiot. I am ashamed to realise that the moment I expected a crap coffee but got a good one brought me more joy than a good coffee does when I expect it. Both are good coffees, but its the expectation that changes how I receive it. We have spent 3 months having our expectations far exceeded and it has been amazing. It’s a balance because I don’t want to be a pessimist and not strive for anything because I expect to fail. But I also don’t want to be entitled and take people and situations for granted. (I am talking about coffee a lot – writing this in the cafe).
- Malteasers are gross in Canada. (thank you Megan for posting us some good ones from Australia). BUT mnms are nicer here.
- I hope we have learnt more about having peace amidst uncertainty. We have seen God work things out better than we had hoped for, and I mean that literally. We are still starting 2016 jobless and unsure of where we will live long term, so we will have a lot of uncertainty to see if we have learnt this well or not!
So as we pack our bags the 11th and final time on this adventure I hope I am also packing the lessons I was meant to learn from 2015 and are leaving behind the disappointments and hurt, along with my broken boots and ripped jeans.
p.s. If you are looking to book a holiday – flights, accommodation and/or travel insurance I suggest giving Stephen and Sandra Talbot a call! These legends were SO kind to me as I gave ‘ideas’ rather than an actual plan and sent them itinerary change after change to quote on.
email stephen@itravel-au.com or call +61 413 960 017
p.p.s It isn’t just my opinion, it’s science:
Studies have shown that it is beneficial for you to share joy with others. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-it/201307/the-science-behind-the-joy-sharing-joy
opdaway 